The constant availability and accessibility to cell phones and technology have bred a needy generation and it drives me NUTS.
If you're not in contact with your (potential) significant other, naturally there must be something wrong. Right?! He must be upset. I probably did something to make him mad and he never wants to talk to me again. No, wait, maybe he got kidnapped or died. Something serious must have happened to him. What?! NO. Stop. Just STOP.
Maybe he just has a life or doesn't have his phone on him or is taking a test. Maybe he's sleeping or at work or in the middle of something. Maybe, just maybe, it has nothing to do with you, and it definitely shouldn't be blown out of proportion. Yet, it happens to the best of us sometimes. As logical and rational as we try to be, sometimes our minds can't help but jump to ridiculous conclusions. I have actually watched this ruin relationships. People have broken up over this! People have gotten in fights and lost friends over this! One little miscommunication, one hundred assumptions later and the relationship is toast. How did we get here?
Thirty years ago, this wasn't a problem! There were no cell phones with unlimited texting or Facebook messages. If you were interested in getting to know someone, you called them and asked them on a date. And then you WAITED until Friday came around, and you spent your time in each other's company. If you enjoyed it, you planned another date, and crazy enough, you probably didn't even hear from them until that second date came around!
Serious conversations are happening over text and social media, being misread and tearing people apart. A lot of people are lacking the skills and courage they need to actually communicate face-to-face. Yet, for some reason, technology and our society has made us think that we need to be in constant contact with each other, that you should always be on your phone or by your phone and that there must be a problem if your relationship isn't like this. The worst part is, most of it is subconscious and we (myself included) often have to talk our emotions and crazy thoughts down. We KNOW we're being ridiculous, and for some reason, we can't stop our minds from jumping there.
But please, next time, take a deep breath (or ten). Think long and hard before you text them a million times to see if they got hit by a car. Talk yourself through it before you delete their number and block him on all forms of social media, or before you text all of their roommates to see where they disappeared to. Be confident in what you have. If it is a real issue, discuss it with them next time you see them. But TRUST each other and stop second-guessing your relationship over an unanswered text. You'll thank yourself in the long-run, I promise.
(http://elitedaily.com/women/guy-doesnt-text-back/854321/ Enjoy, but please excuse the language.)
It is a real problem for so many people out there! My own tendency is to think something terrible happened if the person isn't there soon after the time I thought they would be. And it's stressful. I wonder if people were a little less stressed when they didn't have cellphones (but at the same time they ease stress? Funny how that works.).
ReplyDeleteHaha, I love Elite Daily. And you're right, that is such a serious problem with today's society. Personally, I kind of love that my boyfriend doesn't like texting. Our relationship is so much less stressful without feeling the need to decode texts.
ReplyDeleteWow I love this post! Thank you so much for sharing! I, too, am sick of constant communication. I have a friend who will freak out and be mad at me if I don't reply to her text within ten minutes. Obviously, we had a talk to work out this issue, but I totally believe in creating and sustaining relationships in person rather than over a screen. Thank you for your thoughts!
ReplyDelete