A blessing

This week I'm just really grateful for technology and all of the blessings it brings into my life. It's so cool that we no longer have to physically gather to watch conference. It's available to pretty much anyone anywhere, as long as they have internet and a device. Technology lets me FaceTime my nieces and nephews and siblings. I can't imagine how much I would be missing out on in the lives of my friends and family without technology and social media. There's an endless source of knowledge available and Google answers most of my questions in a matter of seconds. Today, I feel so lucky to be blessed with technology!

The Evolution of Facebook

It's hard to remember what Facebook looked like and how it worked way back in 2006 when I first made an account, but I do know that Facebook has undergone countless changes over the past decade.  I worked as an EFY counselor last summer and the only way we could stay in contact with our youth was on public, social media sites, such as Facebook. As counselors, we were thrown off each week as more and more youth told us that no one uses Facebook anymore or that they didn't have Facebook. That was always the big thing with our generation and EVERYONE had one. We had never felt older than in those moments. I found it interesting to do Google Facebook screenshots from different years and to remember all the changes that had once been all the rage.

One definite difference is the amount of videos, pages and articles shared on our news feeds. People post the strangest things, and I always get a kick out of what people are willing to share. For example:

https://www.facebook.com/markiplier/videos/1068313596568277/

(https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MujRLvZ61jE)

"What His Social Media Habits Say About Your Relationship"

Sometimes it blows my mind how much technology has really changed and affected our relationships today. It's always interesting to me to see which couples post most frequently versus not at all and what kind of declarations of love people post for all of Facebook or Instagram to see.

For some reason, posting a "couple picture" is suddenly some big milestone in relationships. Often, if you're not posting, people (usually one member of the couple) start to over-think things. Are you embarrassed by or intentionally hiding your significant other? When is it "serious enough" to warrant a picture together? Are you not committed enough to show everyone that you're taken? Just waiting because you think you'll potentially break? Or, you find out your friend has been dating someone for awhile, but you had no idea, because you haven't seen anything online - and you start jumping to conclusions about how it must just not be "that" serious yet. Even though, maybe, -more likely than not- they're just a private person, or they hate seeing couple-posts on their own feeds and want to save others the pain of having to read yet another sappy, love post.

Don't believe that this is an actual issue in dating?! I just conducted a simple Google search to see what I would find and what do you know... I found testimonial after testimonial, pages of people talking about how technology is affecting their relationship, and quite a few worrying about their S.O. not posting pictures of them or not being "present enough" on their social media:

From a [ridiculous] article called...wait for it... "What His Social Media Habits Say About Your Relationship:"

"I love social media, but my boyfriend refuses to participate. He doesn't have Twitter or Instagram, has a Facebook but doesn't use it, and doesn't like when I post pictures of us on social media." —Sara A.
"My boyfriend's Twitter and Instagram accounts are overwhelmingly professional. He doesn't use social media as a sounding board about his life or our relationship, usually just for news or his job." —Emily J.
"This is so pathetic, but I do notice when he doesn't like or forgets to like my Instagrams. It annoys me because he makes an effort with my friends and will be like, 'Oh, did you see so-and-so's picture of the beach?' And I want to be like, 'Yeah, well did you see mine?!' It's ridiculous and I know it, and I love him anyway." —Liz T.
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/what-your-partners-social-media-behaviors-say-about-your-relationship

And the results go on for days...

Think it's just women posting about their boyfriends? Think again.

Is this for real? Have we really reached this level of insecurity and lack of communication in our relationships? What you post on social media does NOT define your relationship nor your level of satisfaction. Even if you are feeling this way (because, let's face it, everyone undeniably feels insecure at some point or other), you should be able to discuss this with each other and should NOT be asking anonymous people on line for their completely invalid opinions. Can we please just remove this added dimension of stress on our relationships?


(Sidenote: I'm not saying that you SHOULD or SHOULDN'T post sappy posts or pictures with your significant other and this isn't mean to offend, so please don't take it that way. I'm all for freedom of speech, but that includes speech within your relationships to avoid these completely unnecessary miscommunications and unneeded pressure.)

Funny YouTube Videos

I've realized that I love YouTube! I don't use it very often or spend very long just scrolling/surfing for new videos, but looking back, it has provided me with so many laughs and so many inside jokes.

One of the funnier ones, I've seen is Ghost in the Stalls. I saw it for the first time during Freshman year, almost 4 years ago, yet my friends and I STILL quote it and make reference to it. It's crazy to me how much better I can remember song lyrics or quote funny videos, than I can remember my class notes or exam materials... It's actually kind of sad and frustrating. Regardless, you should watch this video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno

What are you favorite YouTube videos?

Movie Critics

Recently, my roommate and our boyfriends have been a scary-movie binge in our free time. We've been trying to find some good, jumpy movies that are only PG-13, and we've honestly been pretty disappointed. 

After the first couple that we watched, we decided to always look new movies up to find reviews and ratings. Someone had an edited version of "Cabin in the Woods," and the online ratings were great! It scored a 7/10 on IMDB and a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes (which is about as high as I've ever seen them rate a movie)! So we decided to give it a try on Friday night. Bad idea. It was terrible. I fell asleep about half an hour in, which is never supposed to happen during a truly scary movie. Every time I opened my eyes, I was completely confused. The next day, they couldn't stop talking about how awful the movie was and how shocking the ratings online were - though, it could be that some of the best parts were edited out. Really though, the movie was just bizarre and not scary at all. 

The next night we decided to try to new version of The Poltergeist. Another bad choice. Movie after movie, we've been let down, and now we can't even trust online ratings! If you have any good thriller suggestions, please give them to me!

The Generational Problem with Texting

The constant availability and accessibility to cell phones and technology have bred a needy generation and it drives me NUTS.

If you're not in contact with your (potential) significant other, naturally there must be something wrong. Right?! He must be upset. I probably did something to make him mad and he never wants to talk to me again. No, wait, maybe he got kidnapped or died. Something serious must have happened to him. What?! NO. Stop. Just STOP.

Maybe he just has a life or doesn't have his phone on him or is taking a test. Maybe he's sleeping or at work or in the middle of something. Maybe, just maybe, it has nothing to do with you, and it definitely shouldn't be blown out of proportion. Yet, it happens to the best of us sometimes. As logical and rational as we try to be, sometimes our minds can't help but jump to ridiculous conclusions. I have actually watched this ruin relationships. People have broken up over this! People have gotten in fights and lost friends over this! One little miscommunication, one hundred assumptions later and the relationship is toast. How did we get here?

Thirty years ago, this wasn't a problem! There were no cell phones with unlimited texting or Facebook messages. If you were interested in getting to know someone, you called them and asked them on a date. And then you WAITED until Friday came around, and you spent your time in each other's company. If you enjoyed it, you planned another date, and crazy enough, you probably didn't even hear from them until that second date came around! 

Serious conversations are happening over text and social media, being misread and tearing people apart. A lot of people are lacking the skills and courage they need to actually communicate face-to-face. Yet, for some reason, technology and our society has made us think that we need to be in constant contact with each other, that you should always be on your phone or by your phone and that there must be a problem if your relationship isn't like this. The worst part is, most of it is subconscious and we (myself included) often have to talk our emotions and crazy thoughts down. We KNOW we're being ridiculous, and for some reason, we can't stop our minds from jumping there.

But please, next time, take a deep breath (or ten). Think long and hard before you text them a million times to see if they got hit by a car. Talk yourself through it before you delete their number and block him on all forms of social media, or before you text all of their roommates to see where they disappeared to. Be confident in what you have. If it is a real issue, discuss it with them next time you see them. But TRUST each other and stop second-guessing your relationship over an unanswered text. You'll thank yourself in the long-run, I promise. 

(http://elitedaily.com/women/guy-doesnt-text-back/854321/ Enjoy, but please excuse the language.)

Church on your Phone?

Lately, I've noticed a frequently recurring topic on my mind. People sitting on their phones through all of church. Do I do this? Does it bother me when other people do it? Do people watch me when I do it? Is it such a terrible thing if I do?

I've spent a lot of time evaluating my own choices and habits since the last General Conference or so. I don't remember what triggered it, but I remember thinking that I was getting too distracted during church by my own phone and that I wasn't leaving church feeling very enlightened or uplifted. I spent a couple weeks of church completely phone-less to break habits - Well, except for using the scriptures, so I just put my phone on airplane mode. Over all, I have seen some definite improvement since then, but I still have some room for improvement.

At the beginning of the semester, I rededicated myself to this goal of focusing more and using my phone less. Then, I started noticing others around me making very upset comments about how fed up they were with people who spent all their time ignoring speakers and teachers and disrespecting them by using their phones right in front of them. It especially hit me when a guy I've been dating told me that the most annoying thing to him about church and singles wards is when people are on their phones during church and explained to me just how much he hates it. I had already made an improvement in my own habits, but this just pushed me again to do even better, because I never wanted to be one of "those people" that was distracting people around me (even though it doesn't usually distract me when others around me are doing it).

I have been pleasantly surprised about how much I have gotten out of church the past few weeks by staying off of all social media during church. I mean, I still check my texts and respond during the breaks between classes, so that I'm not sitting through three hours of class distracted by the thought that I might have important texts waiting for me, but that's a whole other problem of its own that I need to work on.